Tag Archives: royal wedding

The Cut O’ Beef Index: Part V

13 May

Like Michael Jordan with the Wizards and Brett Favre six times, many people that left at the peak of their powers feel the urge to come back to prove they’ve still got it.  Maybe it’s the tedium of sitting on the same island and the same yachts every day, or maybe it’s the frustration in seeing young guns taking what used to be yours.  We here at NSD can’t get in the minds of the greats, but lucky for us, the pre-eminent guest writer of NSD, MemoFromTurner, felt the itch both creatively and physically (Quote: “I thought Lifestyles were the best out there!) and is back with two more Cuts O’ Beef, this time touching on the superficially classy and hipsters.  Enjoy.

Cut O’Beef: Beef Tartare
Celebrity Example: Ashley “Client 9” Dupre
Theme Song: “Tangerine” by Big Boi feat. T.I.

Our next Cut O’ Beef is the Beef Tartare.  Beef Tartare is superficially a classy, pricey Cut—found almost exclusively at swanky restaurants as a heavily garnished appetizer.  Cut through all the fanfare, however, and you’re still left with a piece of raw Beef, albeit one of generally high quality.  Beef Tartares may come dressed to the nines, well made-up and heavily perfumed but deep down they are just selling pure, raw sex appeal.  Beef Tartares can be found in 4-star hotel lobby bars in revealing cocktail dresses, sipping vodka sodas and eyeing down every investment banker that comes through the door.  A Beef Tartare is totally unafraid of maintaining eye contact, giving the undeniable impression that she knows that you know that she knows that you are giving her looks from across the bar (and she loves it).  Ever notice how most Cuts get self-conscious when trying out a tight, short skirt on NSD, constantly fidgeting and smoothing down the material because they are worried about showing too much? Beef Tartares don’t have that problem.    Continue reading

Kate Middleton – Royal Skirt Cred Galore

29 Apr

What can NSD say about the Royal Wedding that hasn’t already been said by most of the world?  Well, as a valued member of the Press, we can’t help but give you a quick and dirty, no holds barred opinion of what we think.  Now we understand that most Americans can’t stand anything British.  Maybe it’s because of the British oppression that our ancestors cured via the American Revolution, maybe it is because they claim to speak English but no one can understand anything they say.  A few hundred years plus a royal wedding seemed to have cured this animosity…at least for now.  It is a proven statistic that 99.4% of those that said they hate the Brits, either watched or Tivoed the crap out of the Royal Wedding.  Who are we to argue with those statistics?

This brings us to the topic of conversation – Kate Middleton.  Of course, we at NSD love her but not for the reasons that everyone else does.  Continue reading