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Tag Archives: Paris Hilton

Hump Day Links of the Week

20 Jul

I feel like Kate Upton gets more and more ridiculously hot as the weeks go on.  I wish I could completely delete my rant about how overrated she was from months ago, but it will live forever, proving me an idiot.  I have literally no chance in arguments any more. Like if my argument is “Inception was a good movie” and the other person thinks the opposite, all he has to say is “shut the fuck up you said Kate Upton wasn’t that hot.” And he’d be right.  I feel like that guy that said that computers were a fad.  iblackedout

Some girl named Iryna Ivanova is the Playmate of the Month.  Looking at these pictures reminds me of my middle school days where we’d keep a rain soaked Playboy in the middle of the woods under a bed of leaves just to look at the pictures.  Now I do what every man in america does at work when you see a link to Playboy, you pull out your phone at your desk to look at the pictures.  If you ever see a guy looking at his phone at his desk he’s either A) Looking at naked women or B) playing Angry Birds.  It’s a proven fact Guys Gab

This guy has “Fuck You” tattooed on his head.  I legitimately can’t think of one single job that he could have that he would be allowed to have this tattoo.  Professional wrestler?  Hitman?  Those are honestly the only two I think of Sports Behemoth

 

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The Cut O’ Beef Index: Part II

21 Apr

The Cut O’ Beef Index from Guest writer MemoFromTurner continues below.  If you missed Part I, click Here

Cut O’ Beef: Skirt Steak
Celebrity Example: Paris Hilton
Song: “Your Love is My Drug” by Ke$ha

Our next Cut O’ Beef is the Skirt Steak.  Skirt Steak is the Cut that most Mexican restaurants use for their fajitas—it is cheap and a little tough but it tastes pretty good when dressed up the right way and after a few margaritas with your buddies.  Skirt Steaks are the kind of girls you pick up at a bar—they’re not a lot of work, they won’t put a big dent in your paycheck, you can share them with friends and they have enough sizzle to get everyone in the room to turn their heads as they go by.  Like a round of tequila shots at 2:30am, experiences with Skirt Steaks can go one of two ways—a fun, drunken time and a good story or a multi-day hangover disaster.  Unfortunately, Skirt Steaks usually walk the razor’s edge of sanity in their day-to-day lives so you will either catch them on a good day (resulting in a guilt-free one-night stand) or a bad day (resulting in weeks of hysteric text messaging and general post-coital regret).  On National Skirt Day Skirt Steaks can be seen in the classic jean skirt (with well-placed rips and paint splatters courtesy of Abercrombie & Fitch), a too-short skirt and blazer combo that probably doesn’t pass HR’s dress code at work or one of those cotton dresses that have tight, short skirts and leave nothing to the imagination in the club. Continue reading