Tag Archives: National Skirt Day

NSD Approved: Maria Menounos

19 Apr

For anyone that missed our staff’s barrage of tweets on Monday, happy late National Skirt Day!  (follow us at @natlskirtday).  As this is the happiest time of the year, it’s time to welcome a new member to the NSD Approved family, the second hardest club to get into in the US (Augusta National being #1) obviously.  Welcome to Maria Menounos, who at this point is getting pretty damn close to entering the top five most marryable girls in the world category.  Not only is she smoking hot, her interests include sitting courtside at sporting events decked out in her team’s gear (although it sucks that she cheers for Boston, but she’s from there so it’s okay), going to the beach and wearing ridiculous bikinis, playing in charity softball events and looking incredible, and honoring absurd bets that she makes, including wearing a bikini in times square on national television.  Keep doing what you’re doing Maria.  And welcome to the club. Also as a side note, Derek Hough can go fuck himself with his make out sessions that he’s having with her right now on Dancing with the Stars.  Full gallery after the jump.   Continue reading

NSD Approved: Rachel Bilson

10 Nov

I was going to post a bunch of pictures but the ongoing problem with Rachel Bilson is that she’s too conservative.  Google image her and the majority of pictures are just her walking around New York City looking fashionable. Lucky for us she’s done a few photoshoots over the years, most notably this one in GQ a couple years back. The more burning question is WHY IS RACHEL BILSON NOT MORE FAMOUS? You might say “oh she’s not a good actress.” Listen I watched the OC, she was completely adequate.  Who makes these decisions in Hollywood? While Rachel Bilson has been in exactly 2 movies in the lead role since being a huge TV star, someone like Katherine Heigl has been in 13. 13 vs. 2! If aliens landed on earth and were asked who was more popular and they found out the answer, I’m 99% sure they would destroy the earth if their heads didn’t explode first from confusion.  This is bullshit.  Bilson is on some new CW show that I’m sure is terrible and I refuse to watch despite my ongoing celebrity crush on her, Hart of Dixie. At this point I think I’m just going to start a movie studio, where all I do is put attractive girls who somehow aren’t famous in movies.  My first movie will star Rachel Bilson, Jordana Brewster, and Kate Bosworth, and the premise will be simple: Three young women excitedly prepare for the best day of the year, National Skirt Day, where they compete to impress local entrepreneur Max Star (played by me).  Who wouldn’t see this?  See you all in hell.

The Cut O’ Beef Index: Part V

13 May

Like Michael Jordan with the Wizards and Brett Favre six times, many people that left at the peak of their powers feel the urge to come back to prove they’ve still got it.  Maybe it’s the tedium of sitting on the same island and the same yachts every day, or maybe it’s the frustration in seeing young guns taking what used to be yours.  We here at NSD can’t get in the minds of the greats, but lucky for us, the pre-eminent guest writer of NSD, MemoFromTurner, felt the itch both creatively and physically (Quote: “I thought Lifestyles were the best out there!) and is back with two more Cuts O’ Beef, this time touching on the superficially classy and hipsters.  Enjoy.

Cut O’Beef: Beef Tartare
Celebrity Example: Ashley “Client 9” Dupre
Theme Song: “Tangerine” by Big Boi feat. T.I.

Our next Cut O’ Beef is the Beef Tartare.  Beef Tartare is superficially a classy, pricey Cut—found almost exclusively at swanky restaurants as a heavily garnished appetizer.  Cut through all the fanfare, however, and you’re still left with a piece of raw Beef, albeit one of generally high quality.  Beef Tartares may come dressed to the nines, well made-up and heavily perfumed but deep down they are just selling pure, raw sex appeal.  Beef Tartares can be found in 4-star hotel lobby bars in revealing cocktail dresses, sipping vodka sodas and eyeing down every investment banker that comes through the door.  A Beef Tartare is totally unafraid of maintaining eye contact, giving the undeniable impression that she knows that you know that she knows that you are giving her looks from across the bar (and she loves it).  Ever notice how most Cuts get self-conscious when trying out a tight, short skirt on NSD, constantly fidgeting and smoothing down the material because they are worried about showing too much? Beef Tartares don’t have that problem.    Continue reading

The Girls of Fast Five

6 May

There are few things in life that you can depend on.  “Death and Taxes” is what old cynics say, but in reality there are a few others.  Getting blackout and commenting on who gained the most weight since high school on the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving, for example.  Spending hundreds of dollars more on New Year’s Eve than you wanted to because “It’s New Year’s Eve, the best night of the year” only to realize 2 hours in that NYE has literally never lived up to expectations.  Holidays come and go like clockwork, and now so do Fast and the Furious movies.  Every year, moviegoers can depend on the franchise to release an entry with every character the audience wants (whether dead or alive), six of the most ridiculous and implausible car scenes you’ll ever see in your life, and at least one scene where Vin Diesel/Paul Walker’s acting is so bad that the audience literally laughs at him in a serious scene.  Every summer, an academic on his way to that new French subtitled film that “the New Yorker just loved!” scoffs at me as I march to the theater, but why?  I can’t think of a series that more successfully gives the audience exactly what they pay $12 to see.   Continue reading