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Tag Archives: Kirstie Alley

What Not to Do on Skirt Day

28 Apr

Since the warm weather has been upon us, and we have seen consecutive days of 80+ degrees of sun and heat, the season has sprung and we are now in full skirt mode.  If you see a gathering of your coworkers standing by the windows of your office it’s most likely because they are pointing out all of the skirts and sundresses on the street below.  Since this movement has started, as most of you have already experienced, stealth skirt missions have been in effect.  Although to some it may be obvious as to the reasoning on why to operate your camera phone in stealth mode, to others it may not.  For that reason, I have provided the top 5 What Not to do on Skirt Day:

5.  Don’t yell out skirt day and point while jumping up and down when you see a group of ladies walking by in skirts.  Although the visual may cause excitement, and you feel the need to point out the obvious to your buddy standing less than 14 inches away from you, refrain from the desire to draw this type of attention to yourself. Continue reading

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The Cut O’ Beef Index: Part I

19 Apr

In the first of a four-part series, avid NSD reader and guest columnist MemoFromTurner proposes an index for rating girls we can all relate to, the Cut O’ Beef Index.  Enjoy.

Now that Lady Gaga has made the old “Objectifying Women with Meat Metaphors” trick cool again with her infamous meat dress at the 2010 VMAs, I would like to take this opportunity to make some Meat Metaphors of my own here at NationalSkirtDay.com.  Please keep in mind that this post is a piece of Performance Art and, as such, anyone offended by the words contained within just don’t get the joke and are probably brainwashed by the very same corporate / conservative / homophobic / oppressive monoculture that visionaries like myself and Lady Gaga are bent on smashing.  It’s ironic, get it?  (Note: This Performance Art piece is intended to be a multimedia experience.  I think you will find that the theme songs provide a fairly accurate audio/visual description of each Cut [major props to Mick Jagger for saying what I didn’t have the balls to say publicly], as well as being 9 pretty great songs in their own right.) Continue reading