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Tag Archives: Kate Upton

Kate Upton – Amazing Site Intro Video

16 Jun

Earlier this week, fellow NSD writer DJStrongIsland posted an Armani commercial starring Megan Fox getting dressed.  While I agree it was worth a watch, and I hate to one-up you here DJ, but Kate Upton’s official site now has an intro video of herself getting undressed.  This isn’t your basic, incredibly annoying flash intro with blaring Kings of Leon music that you have to skip to get to a normal website.  This is a two minute video of Kate Upton stripping in her hotel room, that’s also safe for work since it’s in black and white (since anything in black and white is deemed “art,” even hardcore pornography).  I admit that a few months ago I wrote a long rant about how overrated Kate Upton was.  I may have underestimated you, Kate (I’m speaking to you directly since you obviously are an avid reader of NSD).  In the meantime, enjoy.

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The Cut O’ Beef Index: Part IV

29 Apr

MemoFromTurner completes his epic masterpiece on the Cut O’ Beef Index, a series that has already garnered a Pullitzer prize, a Caldecott Medal, and has been nominated for the Nobel Prize for Literature.  As the other entrants are David Foster Wallace’s The Pale King and Jonathan Franzen’s Freedom, both of which are mainstream novels with the writing level of a third grader, The Cut O’ Beef Index is an early favorite.  Not since R.L. Stein’s 85 Goosebumps books has a series so inspired an entire nation.  Thanks to MemoFromTurner, you’re welcome back on NSD anytime.  If you missed Parts I-III, click here:  Part I    Part II    Part III

Cut O’ Beef: Ribeye
Celebrity Example: Christina Hendricks
Song: “Legs” by ZZ Top

Our next Cut O’ Beef is the Ribeye.  The gentle marbling of a good Ribeye steak gives the Cut its incredible texture and flavor.  Likewise, the soft curves of Ribeyes give these girls tremendous sex appeal and an unmatched joie de vivre among the various Cuts.  Celebrities like Beyonce and Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks have done much to bring this Cut back in vogue in recent years but to be honest I’m not quite sure why it ever left.  Save those 105lb twigs for lesser men; I like my women to look like, well, women.  To be blunt, I’m a tits-and-ass man myself and can appreciate the delicate art of a Ribeye that is hard in all the right places and soft in all the right places.  Furthermore, what guy doesn’t want a girl that doesn’t mind occasionally ordering a burger or splitting the wings at a bar?  Ribeyes understand that there is more to life than the endless pursuit of weight loss and don’t mind throwing back a few beers with the boys while watching the game. 

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Skirt Poll of the Week: Kate Upton vs. Marisa Miller

6 Apr

This is the classic matchup of the reigning champ vs. the hot newcomer, as Marisa Miller has reigned for at least the last five years as “the” hottest woman alive, posing everywhere from Victoria’s Secret to Sports Illustrated to classy artistic nude photographs (all pornography becomes “art” if it is in black and white).  But an 18-Year Old named Kate Upton has taken the world by storm in the last few months, appearing all over the new SI Swimsuit issue, the internet, and television.  Continue reading