Tag Archives: College Basketball

National Championship Cheerleader Matchup: UConn vs. Butler

4 Apr

Throughout all time, many of the great discoveries in history have come by accident.  Columbus was just trying to find a faster way to Asia when he hit America instead.  Newton was just trying to hang out under an apple tree for awhile when he discovered gravity.  And now, we here at NSD were just trying to put up some pictures of some hot cheerleaders during March Madness when we discovered perhaps the greatest algorithm for predicting games of all time.  While going into the tournament I personally had held onto the common belief that cheerleaders contribute nothing to the actual game of play, it turns out that the team with the less attractive cheerleaders has won each of the games we previewed this month.

While our algorithm has been perfect, national pundits are still confused as to why it rings true.  Some have hypothesized that the more attractive the cheerleaders, the more distracted the players are during the games staring at them in their skirts.  Others have put forth the notion that with attractive cheerleaders comes relationships with players and potential stage five clingers, a distraction that singlehandedly sunk BYU with its way-too-hot for a Morman school squad.  But onto tonight’s game, the best test yet for our rule.  First, Butler, with its mediocre-at-best cheerleading squad, has made an amazing run, knocking off hot girl superpowers such as Florida in the process.  UConn, however, has an incredibly attractive bunch, and only were able to continue our algorithm’s Cinderalla story by losing to Kentucky in our “who’s hotter” poll on Friday.  If only ignorant Cats fans could have swallowed their pride and admitted their cheerleaders were busted, maybe Calipari could have had another chance to win a championship and have it vacated in 3 years for NCAA violations.  Tonight is the ultimate test for NSD.  Butler wins it.    Cast your votes after the jump.

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Sweet 16 Cheerleader Matchup of the Day: OSU vs. Kentucky

25 Mar

This is an interesting matchup because Ohio and Kentucky are both some of the worst states in America.  Both have zero professional sports teams (Cleveland’s embarassingly terrible teams actually count as a negative), no major cities (Cleveland does not count), and at first glance provide little to no value to America in any way.  For example, Idaho also is a terrible state by the first two qualities, but does provide delicious potatoes for everyone to enjoy.  I say “at first glance,” because at second glance, both of these teams have somewhat attractive women despite the states to which they belong.  I drove through Kentucky once it looked in all seriousness similar to any scene in The Hills Have Eyes.  Continue reading

Sweet 16 Cheerleader Matchup of the Day: Florida vs. BYU

22 Mar

Since everyone’s brackets are completely ruined (a foul with 0.8 seconds?  85 feet from the rim? Really?), here at NSD we wanted to glean at least some entertainment out of the remaining sixteen teams.  First matchup is Florida vs. BYU, and I gotta be honest, on paper this is the easiest decision in history.  Continue reading