Tag Archives: brett favre

The Cut O’ Beef Index: Part V

13 May

Like Michael Jordan with the Wizards and Brett Favre six times, many people that left at the peak of their powers feel the urge to come back to prove they’ve still got it.  Maybe it’s the tedium of sitting on the same island and the same yachts every day, or maybe it’s the frustration in seeing young guns taking what used to be yours.  We here at NSD can’t get in the minds of the greats, but lucky for us, the pre-eminent guest writer of NSD, MemoFromTurner, felt the itch both creatively and physically (Quote: “I thought Lifestyles were the best out there!) and is back with two more Cuts O’ Beef, this time touching on the superficially classy and hipsters.  Enjoy.

Cut O’Beef: Beef Tartare
Celebrity Example: Ashley “Client 9” Dupre
Theme Song: “Tangerine” by Big Boi feat. T.I.

Our next Cut O’ Beef is the Beef Tartare.  Beef Tartare is superficially a classy, pricey Cut—found almost exclusively at swanky restaurants as a heavily garnished appetizer.  Cut through all the fanfare, however, and you’re still left with a piece of raw Beef, albeit one of generally high quality.  Beef Tartares may come dressed to the nines, well made-up and heavily perfumed but deep down they are just selling pure, raw sex appeal.  Beef Tartares can be found in 4-star hotel lobby bars in revealing cocktail dresses, sipping vodka sodas and eyeing down every investment banker that comes through the door.  A Beef Tartare is totally unafraid of maintaining eye contact, giving the undeniable impression that she knows that you know that she knows that you are giving her looks from across the bar (and she loves it).  Ever notice how most Cuts get self-conscious when trying out a tight, short skirt on NSD, constantly fidgeting and smoothing down the material because they are worried about showing too much? Beef Tartares don’t have that problem.    Continue reading

Skirts Plus Jerseys Equals Heaven

14 Apr

For every major sporting event there is sure to be a strong gathering at your local sports bar housing belligerent chanting fellow fans, fearless arguing meatheads, and incoherent blacked out drunks so hammered they are oblivious to which teams are actually playing in the game.  Some examples of these situations include the World Series, March Madness, and pretty much any Sunday Funday during football season.  It is appropriate to wear your favored team’s Jersey so that everyone at the bar knows who to high five to and who to talk shit to.  Important sports games plus getting drunk is a dream come true for any man.  But what is even better?  Girls at the bar throwing back beers and wearing jerseys.  Oh wait, what is even better than that?  Girls wearing jerseys and skirts who can’t decide between ordering a round of jager bombs or Continue reading