Time To Upgrade To The New iPhone 5S

10 Sep

green_5cApple released their new iPhone 5s today at their annual press conference. They debuted two model iPhones for the first time ever, including the iPhone 5c and the iPhone 5s I think the 5c stands for 5 color, but realistically it stands for 5 cheap since it’s the less expensive model. The 5s received most of the new features ; below is have listed the new iPhone specs and what they mean to NSD readers:

“The iPhone 5S features a new system-on-a-chip that Apple claims will make it twice as fast as its predecessor and it is the first-ever 64-bit smartphone.” Simply put, this is a faster iPhone, which means less glitches while playing candy crush and faster loading times for PornHub.

“It also features Touch ID, a fingerprint authentication security feature.” I think this means that now if you want to check your girlfriend’s text messages you just have to wait until she falls asleep or is passed out drunk, then take her finger, and put it on her phone to unlock it. Long gone are the days of trying to guess her pin number, hoping that it is something easy like your anniversary calendar date.

“The iPhone 5S case will be made of high-grade aluminum.” Yes, keep making those iPhones stronger so when I’m drunk and I drop my phone onto the street it won’t break.

“The phone is billed to have battery life that is as good or better than the iPhone 5.” Nothing is worse is heading out to the bar with 10% battery. You know it’s only a matter of time until you are screwed. If you plan on meeting up with a chick, it usually doesn’t work after your battery is completely dead.

“The new version of the device, called the iPhone 5S, will feature a camera with a larger sensor than before for higher-quality images. It will also use two LED lights for its flash.” With the new iphone you’ll be able to take better and faster pictures of girls in skirts and snapchat them to all your friends.

So there are the new features. Now how do I buy this new phone. Do I upgrade or buy it outright? I suggest upgrading if your service provider will let you, but if you buy it straight up, just sell your old iPhone. In fact, even if you are upgrading you should sell your old phone on ebay or craigslist to get a few hundred dollars in cash. I recommend you read this guide on how to sell used cell phones so you’ll have some more cash to spend at the bar this weekend.

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