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What Not to Do on Skirt Day

28 Apr

Since the warm weather has been upon us, and we have seen consecutive days of 80+ degrees of sun and heat, the season has sprung and we are now in full skirt mode.  If you see a gathering of your coworkers standing by the windows of your office it’s most likely because they are pointing out all of the skirts and sundresses on the street below.  Since this movement has started, as most of you have already experienced, stealth skirt missions have been in effect.  Although to some it may be obvious as to the reasoning on why to operate your camera phone in stealth mode, to others it may not.  For that reason, I have provided the top 5 What Not to do on Skirt Day:

5.  Don’t yell out skirt day and point while jumping up and down when you see a group of ladies walking by in skirts.  Although the visual may cause excitement, and you feel the need to point out the obvious to your buddy standing less than 14 inches away from you, refrain from the desire to draw this type of attention to yourself.

4. Avoid throwing dollar bills at girls in skirts in hopes they will come over and give you their attention.  Remember, these women are not strippers.  They are genuine human beings just like yourself and will not appreciate this.  Not all girls in skirts are gold diggers either so beware, money may not be the answer.

3.  When at happy hour in mid conversation with a girl wearing jeans remember that if you mention to her to take off her pants because it’s skirt day, you may be punched in the face.  We have personally witnessed this and we feel any type of skirt day joke to get in a girl’s pants should not be used while the sun is still up.  Once happy hour ends and the girl is still around feel free to try this, but having her take a few shots beforehand may be good insurance.

2.  Never take a stealth mode picture of a coworker in a skirt.  Although there is actually nothing wrong with this idea, it almost always leads to a chain mail around the office of coworkers in skirts and this will always come back to you.  23% of your friends that were laid off between the months of March and October may have blamed budget cuts but what they failed to tell you was that they fell victim to temptation and sent along a picture of sweet ole’ Cindy at the reception desk wearing a miniskirt while bending over to pickup a dropped pen.

1.  Don’t blatantly photograph women in skirts with a non-stealth camera phone including Polaroids, disposable cameras, or video cameras.  This has only led to jail time and restraining orders.  There are currently 4 writers for NSD.  Three months ago there were 5, and because of an unfortunate occurrence including our 5th writer, a digital camera with a flash bright enough to signal an airplane where to land, and a shutter as loud and apparent as Kirstie Alley’s fall on Dancing With the Stars, our good friend didn’t make it out of Starbucks handcuff free.

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2 Responses to “What Not to Do on Skirt Day”

  1. Don'tTazeMeBro April 28, 2011 at 9:34 am #

    Well said, DJStrongIsland. And RIP SkirtDayMaster, the true founder of NSD.com. We’ll be waiting to pick you up at Va State Penitentiary in 2015

    • dezznutz1001 May 17, 2011 at 1:51 pm #

      4 years for an unauthorized photo? Please tell me your kidding

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