Chicks With Skirts Dig Four Loko

7 Apr

We all know and love Four Loko as the blackout in a can.  On November 17, 2010 the U.S. FDA Food and Drug Administration issued a warning letter to four manufacturers of caffeinated alcohol beverages citing that the caffeine added to their malt alcoholic beverages is an “unsafe food additive” and said that further action, including seizure of their products, may occur under federal law.  No longer were consumers able to buy the most intelligent innovation known to man.  This product blew Stifmeister’s collegiate concoction and Ron Ron Juice out of the water.  Everyone knows that every Four Loko night is a good night.  The banning of the human race’s most essential need in life was detrimental to millions of skirt wearing females around the world as well as the rest of us who are fans of this three dollar sloshfest knockout.  Unfortunately Four Loko was forced to sell without the energy kick.  But don’t worry; there is now a solution.  National skirt day is revealing the quick fix to this problem which has generated more awareness than the fight against global warming and world hunger combined.  So here is how it’s done…  Jump back into your Four Loko purchasing ritual, whether it be stopping in Seven Eleven down the street or your local bodega, but now make sure you add a Five Hour energy drink to the equation.  When you get to your party destination, crack open the Four Loko and proceed to pour the five hour energy drink directly into the can.  Voila, you now have yourself a full-blown blackout in a can!

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