Throughout all time, many of the great discoveries in history have come by accident. Columbus was just trying to find a faster way to Asia when he hit America instead. Newton was just trying to hang out under an apple tree for awhile when he discovered gravity. And now, we here at NSD were just trying to put up some pictures of some hot cheerleaders during March Madness when we discovered perhaps the greatest algorithm for predicting games of all time. While going into the tournament I personally had held onto the common belief that cheerleaders contribute nothing to the actual game of play, it turns out that the team with the less attractive cheerleaders has won each of the games we previewed this month.
While our algorithm has been perfect, national pundits are still confused as to why it rings true. Some have hypothesized that the more attractive the cheerleaders, the more distracted the players are during the games staring at them in their skirts. Others have put forth the notion that with attractive cheerleaders comes relationships with players and potential stage five clingers, a distraction that singlehandedly sunk BYU with its way-too-hot for a Morman school squad. But onto tonight’s game, the best test yet for our rule. First, Butler, with its mediocre-at-best cheerleading squad, has made an amazing run, knocking off hot girl superpowers such as Florida in the process. UConn, however, has an incredibly attractive bunch, and only were able to continue our algorithm’s Cinderalla story by losing to Kentucky in our “who’s hotter” poll on Friday. If only ignorant Cats fans could have swallowed their pride and admitted their cheerleaders were busted, maybe Calipari could have had another chance to win a championship and have it vacated in 3 years for NCAA violations. Tonight is the ultimate test for NSD. Butler wins it. Cast your votes after the jump.
So you may be wondering why these pictures have nothing to do with the teams that are actually playing in this matchup. Believe me, you should be happy they don’t. This post isn’t going up until 5PM because I spent the first 8 hours of the day scouring the internet for anyone hot from either school. I considered putting up the two or three mediocre girls I could find but realized everyone would be much happier if I just included two other teams who made it to the tourney but didn’t quite make it to Houston this weekend. Everyone knows that USC and UCLA are the Federer and Nadal of hot cheerleading teams: they’re in a league of their own. I went from cropping the shit out of Butler pictures and telling myself things like “well, she seems like she has a good personality” to having to choose between about 100 different pictures of the hottest girls I’ve ever seen and probably setting off about 10 different website violations at my company.
I realize that the USC girl isn’t even wearing a skirt, but just pretend she took it off immediately before the picture was taken since it was a such a hot day in Southern California (but her neck was still cold obviously). While everyone’s brackets are destroyed and we have to suffer through a 2 hour Butler-VCU game where they’ll compete for the right to lose to Uconn or Kentucky by 20 points, at least we can enjoy some of the fallen challengers’ representation. On an unrelated point that no one cares about, gotta go with Butler for the game. Shaka Smart is counting down the seconds to when he can stop being paid in meals by VCU and start making money at a real school. After the jump, you’ll see what eight hours of searching for hot girls at Butler and VCU yielded, as well as a place to cast your vote on the winner. Check back tomorrow for the UConn – Kentucky preview where hopefully I can use pictures from the actual schools.